yesterday was the wailers. it was amazing. but in the midst of all of the excitment and joy that i recieved thanks to the wailers, however, it got me to thinking. and crying. and thinking again.
i really have a great life. i mean, great friends. great family. and looking back on my whole life has brought me to this entry.
everyone has thought about this question at points in their life where there was a turning in the road, "...if you could change just one thing in your life what would it be..." and it forces you to think back about everything.
at first, i think everything. theres nothing in my life that, looking back i wish i didnt do just a little differently. a little more forgiving here, a little less decieving there, and a pinch of different hair-dos and get-ups throughout.
but then i got to thinking about one catastrophe in particular. which lead me thinking about the rest of my lifes little catastrophes and back to this one. Alyssa, i hope you're reading this. let me set it up for you.
who? me, lyss and delores, also guest starring, adam, nathan and jim, 2 officers of the law and brief performances by hollie henshaw, amy cox, and deb arnett
where? the railroad tracks, where lyss and i had spent countless hours catching some air, dukes of hazzard style
when? the summer of 2004, the summer we all spent pretending none of it would change that fall, and knowing that none of it would be the same the next summer
why? boredom, mechanicsville style. i also think that lyss and i had a slight desire to share the joy that had, until this day, only been our own. and still is, to this very day and moment, only our own.
the rest as they say is history. one of us drove, doesnt matter who. delores took a slight beating and we all shit our pants. but after a little lying, a lot of worrying, a courtcase, hair-die and a great dress, we pulled it off. and now all we can do is laugh about it. and wait the 7 years for it to be removed from my driving record.
yesterday jim reminded me how stupid the whole thing was. me and nathan and jim then reminded adam of a slight detail he had forgotten about that day. and then we all laughed. it was over, no one was mad, no one was hurt and everyone looked back on it and laughed, just as jim had said we would. the event and decisions made that day weren't any less stupid or inexpensive. but it had permanently affected everyone involved. it had given us a ridiculous memory and slightly scandulous secret to forever look back at and hold on to.
and thus is life. all of it.
so looking at aftermath of that day, i've decided that i wouldnt change a thing. not one thing in my life. not one decision, not one false friendship, not one kiss, not one tear. not one picture. not one mess. not one performance or attendance. not anything. because i have found that it is in the mess-ups and downfalls of life that we find what everyone's looking for: substance, something that means something.
and it all means something to me.
you know you love me, as crazy as this entry is 
Claire Logan
i sent this song to the 5 of the most important girls in my life who all proudly smile in the pictue that hangs above my bed just before we all graduated and went off to live the lives we had chosen for ourselves and today its making me smile as i listen to it and stroll down memory lane. Drink it up, this one's for you
It's been a lovely cruise
I'm sorry it's ending, oh it's sad, but it's true
Honey, it's been a lovely cruise
These moments we're left with
May you always remember
These moments are shared by few
There's wind in our hair and there's water in our shoes
Honey, it's been a lovely cruise
'So let's cruise darlin''
Oh, these moments we're left with
May you always remember
These moments are shared by few
And those harbor lights, lord, they're coming into view
We'll bid our farewells much too soon
So drink it up, this one's for you
Honey, it's been a lovely cruise
Yeah, baby, it's been a lovely cruise
Oh, darlin', it's been a lovely cruise | 
